One Story. One Lesson. One Better Week.
My mom had a gift.
She could walk into a grocery store to buy a loaf of bread…
…and come home with two new friends or enough friends to play a game of Mahjong.
When I was younger, I would get embarrassed by this. As I got older, I would laugh about it. Now I marvel at it.
She’d disappear for twenty minutes, and I’d find her talking to someone she’d never met before.
By the end of the conversation, she’d know where they grew up, how many kids they had, what they did for a living, and somehow they’d both be smiling.
One day I asked her how she did it.
She smiled and said something I’ve never forgotten.
“Peter, anyone can be interesting. If you want to have a lot of friends, be interested.”
At the time, I thought it was just good advice.
Looking back…
I think it may have been one of the greatest business lessons I’ve ever learned.
Years later, I had the opportunity to learn from people like Tony Robbins, Werner Erhard and Darren Hardy.
- They each taught different ideas, but there was one thing they all had in common.
- They were genuinely curious.
- They asked great questions.
- They listened carefully.
- They made people feel heard.
As many of you know, one of my favorite sayings is:
Success leaves clues.
That was another clue.
When I eventually got into recruiting, I noticed something.
The conversations that went the best weren’t the ones where I talked the most.
They were the ones where I listened the most.
Today, I have the privilege of talking with Loan Officers and Branch Managers across the country.
People sometimes ask me how I build relationships so quickly.
The truth is…
I’m genuinely curious.
I want to know their story.
How did they get into the business?
What’s been the hardest part of their journey?
What are they proud of?
What are they worried about?
What would they do differently if they could start over?
It’s the same reason I love recording my What’s Working Now podcast.
People think I’m interviewing guests to teach the audience.
They’re right…
But I’m also interviewing them because I want to learn.
Every conversation leaves me with another clue.
Another idea.
Another perspective I didn’t have before.
Even at home, I’ve noticed how much better my relationships are when I remember my mom’s advice.
My wife ,Julie, doesn’t always need me to solve a problem.
Sometimes she just wants me to listen.
My son, Max, has taught me that too.
Some of my favorite conversations with him happen when I stop trying to offer advice and simply become curious about what he’s thinking and experiencing.
The older I get, the more convinced I am that people don’t remember us because we were the most interesting person in the room.
They remember us because we made them feel like they were.
Maybe that’s why my mom could make friends anywhere she went.
She had a remarkable way of making people feel seen.
What a gift.
And what a legacy.
This Week’s Thank Goodness It’s Monday Challenge
This week, have one conversation where your only goal is to be curious.
- Ask more questions than you answer.
- Listen more than you talk.
- Don’t think about what you’re going to say next.
- Just be fully present.
You might learn something.
More importantly…
You might make someone feel valued.
And that’s a gift they’ll never forget.
Until next Monday…
- Keep learning.
- Keep listening.
- Keep being curious.
Because everyone has a story.
And every story has something to teach us.
Remember…